今天小編給各位分享英語笑話的知識，其中也會對英語笑話大全 爆笑對話進(jìn)行解釋，如果能碰巧解決你現(xiàn)在面臨的問題，別忘了關(guān)注本站，現(xiàn)在開始吧！
簡單的英語小笑話(帶翻譯）
1、Boy:?Is?this?seat?empty??Girl:?Yes?and?this?one?will?be?if?you?sit?down.?男孩：這個(gè)座位是空的么？?女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。??
2、Boy:?Can?I?buy?you?a?drink??Girl:?Actually?I’d?rather?have?the?money.?男孩：我可以給你買杯飲賣纖料嗎？?女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。?
3、My?little?dog?can’t?read?Mrs.?Brown:?Oh,?my?dear,?I?have?lost?my?precious?little?dog!?Mrs.?Smith:?But?you?must?put?an?advertisement?in?the?papers!??Mrs.?Brown:?It’s?no?use,?my?little?dog?can’t?read.?
我的狗不識字。布朗夫人：哦，?親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！?史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊！?布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識字?！?/p>
4、My?Wife?Will?Exchange?Them。A?gentleman?walks?into?a?store?and?asked?for?a?pair?of?gloves.???″Cloth?or?leather﹖″?asked?the?salesperson.??″Makes?no?difference?″replied?customer.???″What?color﹖″?asked?the?clerk.??″Any″?he?responded.?
″Size﹖″?″Give?me?whatever?you?prefer″?the?gentleman?said?slightly?exasperated.?″My?wife?will?be?back?tomorrow?to?exchange?them.″?
反正我太太明天念枯會來換的。一位先生走進(jìn)一家商店要買副手套。?“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。?“沒什么區(qū)別?！边@位中高仿顧客回答。?“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問?！笆裁搭伾汲??！彼卮?。?“號碼呢？”?“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點(diǎn)不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的?！?
5、A??physics?Examination，Once?in?a?physics?examination,?Nick?finished?the?first?question?very?soon,?while?his?classmates?were?thinking?it?hard.??The?question?was:?When?it?thunders?why?do?we?see?the?lighting?first,?then?hear?the?thunder?rolls????
Nick‘s?answer:?Because??our?eyes?are?before?ears.???
一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問題。這個(gè)問題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇?，耳朵在后??
6、Jim’s?History?Examination。Uncle:?How?did?Jim?do?in?his?history?examination?Mother:?Oh,?not?at?all?well,?but?there,?it?wasn’t?his?fault.?They?asked?him??things?that?happened?before?the?poor?boy?was?born.???
吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？母親：唉，糟透了?？稍捰终f回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個(gè)可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。?
7、he?is?really?somebody。–?My?uncle?has?1000?men?under?him.?–?He?is?really?somebody.?What?does?he?do?–?A?maintenance?man?in?a?cemetery.???
他真是一個(gè)大人物。–?我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。–?他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的？–?墓地守墓人。
擴(kuò)展資料：
笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。
人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，后來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊。但還有很多笑話，是流傳于民間的，就當(dāng)今社會，每天都有很多笑話出現(xiàn)，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會有價(jià)值。
同時(shí)豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網(wǎng)絡(luò)和手機(jī)的飛速發(fā)展，隨之出現(xiàn)了網(wǎng)絡(luò)笑話，網(wǎng)絡(luò)流行語，給力大全，手機(jī)笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯(lián)盟等，促使笑話發(fā)展到一個(gè)新的階段。
參考資料：百度百科：笑話
經(jīng)典英語笑話大全
下面是我整理的一些關(guān)于經(jīng)典英語笑話7篇，歡迎大家閱讀!
經(jīng)典英語笑話一：咒語
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一個(gè)男人找到一個(gè)巫婆，要求她解開一條困擾了自己40年的咒語。
The Wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
巫婆說：”或許我可以做的到，但陪山你必須一字不落地告訴我下咒的時(shí)候說的那句咒語。”
The old man says without hesitation – “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
男人毫不猶豫的答道：“‘我現(xiàn)在宣布輪和你們成為夫婦。’”
經(jīng)典英語笑話二：世界各地的蹩腳英語
①If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself。
日本旅館：如果您想調(diào)節(jié)您房間的溫度，請控制您自己。
②Please don’t feed the animals. If you have any food, please give it to the guard on duty。
匈牙利動物園：請不要給動物喂食。如果您有食品，請喂給值班警衛(wèi)。
③Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar。
挪威酒吧：女士們不要在酒吧里生孩子。
④Fur coats made for ladies from their skins。
瑞典皮貨蘆桐中商店：為女士們制作的皮大衣，是用她們的皮制成的。
⑤Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists 。
香港牙科診所：由最新的衛(wèi)理公會教徒給您拔牙。
⑥D(zhuǎn)rop your trousers here for best results。
泰國的干洗店：在這里脫掉您的褲子，等待最好的結(jié)果。
⑦Specialist in women and other diseases。
意大利婦科診所：我們是women和其他疾病的專家。
⑧Welcome to the cemetery where famous Russian artists are buried daily except Thursday。
俄國公墓：歡迎訪問這個(gè)公墓，許多著名的俄國藝術(shù)家每天埋在這里，但星期四不埋。
⑨We take your bags and send them in all directions。
丹麥機(jī)場：我們將拿走您的行李，送往四面八方。
⑩The manager has personally passed all water served here。
墨西哥旅館：旅館經(jīng)理將親自為您撒尿。
經(jīng)典英語笑話三：送出去還有的東西
What can Santa give away and still keep?
Answer: a cold.
什么東西圣誕老人可以分送出去，自己卻也還留著?
答案：感冒。
經(jīng)典英語笑話四：圣誕老人的愛好
What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
圣誕老人喜歡在花園里做什么?
答案：鋤地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是鋤草之意，ho則是圣誕老人的笑聲。)
鉛筆
What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?
Answer: use a pen.
若圣誕老人的馴鹿吃掉你的鉛筆該怎么辦?
答案：用原子筆
經(jīng)典英語笑話五：1000元的腦筋急轉(zhuǎn)彎
On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.
Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
圣誕節(jié)前夕，圣誕老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律師在一家高級飯店一同等電梯，門還未開前，三人同時(shí)看到地上有一張新臺幣1000元的鈔票，猜猜誰會將它撿起?
Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!
答案：當(dāng)然是圣誕老人啦!為什么?因?yàn)榇蠹叶贾懒硗鈨烧卟⒉淮嬖凇?/p>
經(jīng)典英語笑話六：Cry
“Tom, what’s the matter with your brother?” asked the mother in the kitchen. “He’s crying.”
“Oh, nothing, Mum,” replied Tom. “I’m eating my cake. He is crying because I won’t give him any.”
“But has he finished his own cake?”
“Yes.” said Tom. “And he also cried when I was helping him finish that.”
“湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 媽媽在廚房里問?！八诳??！?/p>
“沒事兒，媽媽，”湯姆答道?！拔以诔晕业牡案狻Ｋ奘且?yàn)槲也唤o他吃?！?/p>
“他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么?”
“是的?！薄拔?guī)退酝陼r(shí)，他也哭了。”
經(jīng)典英語笑話七：可憐的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: “What’s the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?”
The man: “We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn’t going to speak to me for a month.”
Bartender: “That should make you happy.”
The man: “No, the month is up today!”
一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”
男人：“我們吵了一架，她說一個(gè)月都不跟我說話?！?/p>
酒吧招待：“那你應(yīng)該高興才是啊!”
男人：“不，今天是這個(gè)月的最后一天。”
5個(gè)淺顯易懂的英語小笑話有哪些？
1、爆笑英語小笑話1：Who?are stupid？誰蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一個(gè)老師在對學(xué)生們講心理學(xué)，“誰認(rèn)為自己蠢就站起來？”她一開始就說。
小約翰尼站了起來。
“你認(rèn)為你很蠢嗎，小約翰尼？”老師問。
“不是的，老師，我只是不喜歡看你一個(gè)人站著?！?/p>
2、爆笑英語小笑話2：A?great man一名偉人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老師：如果雀螞莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎？
學(xué)生：當(dāng)然。因?yàn)榈侥壳盀橹梗€沒有人活到400多歲。
3、爆笑英語小笑話3：Two?Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.?He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一個(gè)男人走進(jìn)了一家商店，看到了一個(gè)可愛的小狗，于是他問店主：“你的狗咬人嗎？”
店主說：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
這個(gè)男人就試圖撫摸狗，然后狗咬了他?！鞍パ健彼f：“我還以為你說你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他說：“那不是我的狗?！?/p>
4、爆笑英語小笑話4：Four gold teeth四顆金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人搶你的手表時(shí)，你為什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我張口的話納首，他們就會發(fā)現(xiàn)我的四顆金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英語小笑話5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。
“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬洞歲數(shù)人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？”
英語幽默笑話7篇
笑話是一種經(jīng)過藝術(shù)加工的語言形式,是藝術(shù)化的語言，笑話是一種藝術(shù)方法，用這種方法造成以笑為藝術(shù)手段的文學(xué)藝術(shù)作品。饑扒下面是我整理的英語幽默笑話6篇，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語笑話一：Is he dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I’ll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流淚。一個(gè)朋友走進(jìn)來問他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說：剛才醫(yī)生告訴我，在我的余生里都要吃這些藥片。
他的朋友很輕松地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。當(dāng)然，男人回答說：但是他只給了我十片。
英語笑話二：The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to taken……。
一個(gè)金發(fā)女郎，是那么惡心的黃色笑話她把頭發(fā)染成紅色。笑話停了下來，她覺得很好，她在農(nóng)村的一個(gè)搭車的星期六下午。而在這旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下車來把……。
英語笑話三：太晚了 It’s Too Late
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: “Five grains.”
A minute later the student asked the professor, “May I correct my answer?” The professor looked at his watch and said: “It’s too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago.”
一個(gè)醫(yī)科學(xué)生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒?！?/p>
一分鐘后，這個(gè)學(xué)生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒鐘以前死了?！?/p>
首肢宴英語笑話四：The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安?” 老師發(fā)問道。
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了?！毙∨⒒卮鸬勒咩y。
英語笑話五：腦移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
“You have your choice of two brains,” he told the patient, “For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician.”
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. “Is the brain of a politician that much better?” he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, “No, it’s not better, just unused.”
一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。
“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你?！贬t(yī)生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。
醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”
英語笑話六：最丑的孩子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩?！?/p>
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me.” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對旁邊的男士說：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我?！蹦惺炕貞?yīng)說：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子?！?/p>
英語笑話七：我娶了你的姐妹
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位婦人發(fā)現(xiàn)丈夫回家的時(shí)候總是爛醉如泥，她決定為丈夫治好這個(gè)毛病。一個(gè)萬圣節(jié)夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戲服，躲在樹后，準(zhǔn)備在丈夫返家時(shí)攔截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
當(dāng)丈夫走近時(shí)，她從樹后跳出來，站到他面前，頭上帶著紅色的羊角、身后有長長的尾巴，手中握著鋼叉。
“Who are you?” he asked.
“你是誰?”丈夫問到。
“I’m the Devil!” she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister!”
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫說，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
簡單的英語笑話
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. “What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,” he answered.
“You’re a good boy,” said the mother proudly. “Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆，”他回答說。 “你真是個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說?！霸俳o你兩分錢?？赡銥槭裁磳δ俏焕咸敲锤信d趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的?！?/p>
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
“What kind of bird?” my sister asked.
“I didn’t see the bird, ma’ am, only the nest,” replied the child.
“Then, can you give us a description of the nest?” my sister encouraged her .
“Well, ma’am, it just resembles your hair. ”
Notes:
(1) inform v.告訴
(2) nest n.窩；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓勵(lì)
(5) resemble v. 相似；類似
18.鳥窩與頭發(fā)
我姐姐是一位小學(xué)老師。一次一個(gè)學(xué)生告訴她說一只鳥兒在教室外 的樹上壘了個(gè)窩。
“是什么鳥呢？”我姐姐問她。
“我沒看到鳥兒，老師，只看到鳥窩?！蹦呛⒆踊卮鹫f。
“那么，你能給我凳斗們描述一下這個(gè)鳥巢嗎？”我姐姐鼓勵(lì)她道。
“哦，老師，就像你的頭發(fā)一樣。”
I’ve Just Bitten My Tongue
“Are we poisonous?” the young snake asked his mother.
“Yes, dear,” she replied – “Why do you ask?”
“Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue! ”
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I’ve just bitten my tongue 因?yàn)槲覄傄Я俗约旱纳囝^。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的縮略形式。
我剛咬破自己的舌頭
“我們有毒嗎？”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問它的母親。
“是的，親愛的，讓粗世”她回答說，“你問這個(gè)干什么坦肢？”
“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^?！?/p>
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City’s Grand Central Terminal – As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, “Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?”
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向紐約豪華中心站去趕一趟火車。接近門口，一位肥胖的中年婦女從后面沖過來，沒想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了腳，仰面滑倒了。她的慣性使她接近了我的腳。我正準(zhǔn)備扶她，她卻自己爬了起來。她鎮(zhèn)定了一下，對我擠了一下眉，說道：“總是有漂亮女人拜倒在你腳下嗎？”
英語笑話（一）
Q: What’s the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can’t have monkeys.
猴子會和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能會直接的想到它們倆是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以長跳蚤，而跳蚤身上卻不能有猴子。這個(gè)答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了農(nóng)夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定會生氣的；而如果你踩了農(nóng)夫腳底的雞眼，他會更生氣。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“雞眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因?yàn)閟nail（蝸牛）的后背上總是背著一所房子，所以說蝸牛是世界上最強(qiáng)壯的生物是不足為奇的。你說呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces這個(gè)短語，你可千萬別以為是在鐘表廠工作的人整天都做鬼臉呀！因?yàn)槌诉@個(gè)意思以外，它還可以從字面上解釋為制造鐘面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎樣才能不讓夢游者（sleepwalker）夢游（walk in his sleep）呢？最簡單的方法就是不讓他睡覺。雖然這不是治療方法，但如果讓夢游者醒著呢，他的確就不會去夢游了。
英語笑話（二）
He is really somebody
— My uncle has 1000 men under him.
— He is really somebody. What does he do?
— A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一個(gè)大人物
— 我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。
— 他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的？
— 墓地守墓人。
英語笑話（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. “Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America.”
它們是從美國直接帶來的
一位中國老婦人在美國看望女兒回來不久，到一家市銀行存女兒送給她的美元。在銀行柜臺，銀行職員認(rèn)真檢查了每一張鈔票，看是否有假。
這種做法讓老婦人很不耐煩，最后實(shí)在忍耐不住說：“相信我，先生，也請你相信這些鈔票。這都是真正的美元，它們是從美國直接帶來的。”
英語笑話（四）my little dog can’t read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It’s no use, my little dog can’t read.
我的狗不識字
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊！
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識字?！?/p>
英語笑話（五）Bring me the winner
— Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
— I’m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
— Well, bring me the winner then.
給我那個(gè)打贏的吧
— 服務(wù)員，
這個(gè)龍蝦只有一只爪。
— 對不起，先生，這只肯定打過架了。
— 哦， 那給我那個(gè)打贏的吧。
英語笑話（六）The mean man’s party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, “Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.”
“Why use my elbow and foot?”
“Well, gosh,” was the reply, “You’re not coming empty-hangded, are you?”
吝嗇鬼請客
一個(gè)出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個(gè)朋友解釋怎么找到他家時(shí)說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個(gè)門，然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之后，再用你的腳把門推開。”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢？”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧？”吝嗇鬼回答。
英語笑話有聲英語笑話,推薦
有哪些英語小笑話？給我來十個(gè)（越短越好）
1、英語笑話（一）??
老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time?is?money.并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗。”???
小明上英文課時(shí)跟老師說：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老師說：Go?ahead.??
小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May?I?go?to?the?toilet????
老師說：Go?ahead.??
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？???
小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個(gè)頭」啊！???
2、英語笑話（二）??
某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I?am?hong tao?liu，外賓曰：我TM還是方片七呢！???
3、英語笑話（三）??
江青會見外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。外賓一見到江青，立刻拍馬屁道：”Miss?Jiang,?you?are?very?beautiful.”?翻譯照翻，江青心花怒?放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。??
翻譯不敢怠慢，把江青的話翻成英文：”Where??Where?”?外賓一愣，還有這樣的人，追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底：”Everywhere,?everywhere.”??
翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮?！苯喔吲d了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見得，不見得”。翻譯趕緊翻成英文：”You?are?not?allowed?to?see,?you?are?not?allowed?to?see.”??
4、英語笑話（四）???
話說某年某月的某一天，叁個(gè)神箭手約在一起比箭，目標(biāo)是十尺外仆人頭上的蘋果。A神箭手挽弓長射，咻一聲，利箭正中蘋果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大?拇指道：「I?AM后羿！」??
B神箭手照本宣科，射中蘋果，這回他自大的喊了一句：「I?AM丘比特！」??
輪到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！?結(jié)果正中仆人的心臟。就聽他襲簡結(jié)結(jié)巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I…I…I…AM…SORRY…」???
5、英語笑話（五）??
某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，?忙說：I?am?sorry.???
老外應(yīng)道：I?am?sorry?too.???
某人薯行聽后又道：I?am?sorry?three.???
老外不解，問：What?are?you?sorry?for????
某人無奈，道：I?am?sorry?five.?
6、英語笑話（六）??
一位來自日本的旅客，坐出租車去機(jī)場的路上，看到一輛汽車經(jīng)過，就說：“oh，TOyOTA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”又有一輛經(jīng)過，他又說：?“oh，NISSAN！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”司機(jī)有點(diǎn)不高興，覺得他太吵了！當(dāng)?shù)谌v經(jīng)過時(shí)，他還是說：“oh，HONDA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”??
后來到了機(jī)場，那個(gè)日本人就問：“How?Much？”出租車司機(jī)說：“1000！”??
日本人驚奇的問司機(jī)：“為什么那么貴？”出租車司機(jī)回答說：“oh，mileometer（計(jì)?程表）！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”?
7、英語笑話（七）??
傳說克林頓和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞錯(cuò)了，把克林頓送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了?地獄。發(fā)現(xiàn)錯(cuò)誤后上帝馬上改了回來，路上二人相遇。?精彩繼續(xù)教皇：感謝上帝，我終于能見到圣母瑪利亞了（Virgin?Maria）.?克林頓（壞笑中）：Sorry，it”s?too?late.?
8、英語笑話（八）?
小強(qiáng)去看電影，到了電影售票處，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個(gè)老外和售票小姐連說帶比得好半天，就自告奮勇的上前做翻譯，售票小姐說：麻煩你告訴她，現(xiàn)在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站著看。??
小強(qiáng)轉(zhuǎn)頭就對老外說：no?sit?see,?stand?see.?if?see?stand?see.?
老外回答說:Sorry?I?don’t?understand?your?English.??
小強(qiáng)就對售票小姐說：哦，他說他不懂英文….
踩了一個(gè)老外的腳，為了顯示咱國家是有名的禮儀之邦，就先SORRY啦，老外更是禮貌有加，就來個(gè)sorry?too.?
two??the?chinese?puzzled.恩，咱中國人還不是得禮尚往來？！~那就I?am?sorry?three~???數(shù)禪嘩這下老外蒙了，一句what?are?you?sorry?for??
暈，還有完沒完啊，還FOUR？！~哼，偶跟你卯上了，Iam?sorry?five~(who怕?who？！~）?
9、英語笑話（九）?
我朋友在南大看到一非洲老外：“hello，你媽是猴兒。”老外用純正的天津話說：“你媽是大猩猩！”?
10、英語笑話（十）?
“Are?we?poisonous?”?the?young?snake?asked?his?mother.??”Yes,?dear,”?she?replied?-?”Why?do?you?ask?”??”Cause?I’ve?just?bitten?my tongue!?”?????????????????????
“我們有毒嗎？”一個(gè)年幼的蛇問它的母親?！笆堑模H愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個(gè)干什么？”??“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^。”
以上就是與英語笑話相關(guān)內(nèi)容，是關(guān)于英語笑話大全 爆笑對話的分享?？赐暧⒄Z笑話后，希望這對大家有所幫助！
